


enclose me, unclose me

by LunarNimbus



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, One Shot, Potential Spoilers, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, episode 3x06, introspective piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 02:36:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13965522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarNimbus/pseuds/LunarNimbus
Summary: Chloe Decker has always been a light sleeper.From the end of “Vegas With Some Radish” (3x06)





	enclose me, unclose me

**Author's Note:**

> _somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond_  
>  _any experience,your eyes have their silence:_  
>  _in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,_  
>  _or which i cannot touch because they are too near_  
>  _your slightest look easily will unclose me_  
>  _though i have closed myself as fingers,_  
>  _you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens_  
>  _(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose_  
>  somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond // e.e. cummings  
> 

The elevators doors slid open with a faint _ding_ , and Chloe Decker opened her eyes. 

She’d been a light sleeper for as long as she could remember, waking up when her father got home terribly late as a child and, later in life, waking up when Dan would stay at the precinct until the early hours of the morning. It proved a particularly useful trait when Trixie tried to sneak out of her room in search of a midnight snack, too. 

And while Lucifer’s massive king bed was sinfully comfortable, her sleep tonight had been restless, on edge. Lucifer was her partner, damn it. He was more than that, if she was being honest with herself; he was her best friend, and he’d ditched her. For fucking _Vegas_. To be with someone _ravishing_. On Chloe’s goddamn _birthday_. 

Bastard. 

And now said bastard was waltzing into his penthouse at an ungodly hour. While Chloe knew she didn’t really have a leg to stand on, seeing as it was his apartment, annoyance and just a hint of leftover anger bubbled up in her chest as she heard the plastic wheels on his travel bag rolling against the smooth tiled floor. The sound drew up short as Lucifer, Chloe guessed, looked around the less-than-tidy room. 

Upset as she was at the man, Chloe winced, feeling a little guilty. When she and Linda borrowed the penthouse for their impromptu celebration, they hadn’t been particularly neat, leaving scattered liquor bottles in their wake. When Dan arrived later, his arms laden with bags of takeout for their party of three, the mess had just gotten worse. 

Her memories of the previous evening were hazy around the edges thanks to Lucifer’s top-shelf selections, but she could remember dancing around the room with Linda. Chloe remembered sliding into the room dressed in socks, sunglasses, and one of Lucifer’s white button-ups, remembered Linda wrapped up in a surprisingly short black silk robe. She could remember the unlikely trio sitting on the low couches in the living room, eating warm Chinese food and laughing while they took a break from safe-cracking. 

It had almost been enough to distract Chloe from the low ache behind her sternum. 

“Now I’m sorry I missed it,” Lucifer’s voice came from the living room. He sounded bewildered. “Could use a drink myself.”

 _Like you didn’t party your ass off in fucking Vegas,_ Chloe thought as his footsteps echoed across the open living room towards his liquor stash. Still, the rhythm of his steps was soft and even, and Chloe’s brain was still swimmy with interrupted sleep. Her heavy eyelids fell over her eyes and she curled deeper into Lucifer’s blankets. 

_Damn him,_ she thought, drowsy, nuzzling the silk pillow under her head. 

* * *

_A studio, back when they first met: god, there was so much feeling when he said her name, so much it cut through the pain of her gunshot wound. She was afraid, so terribly afraid of dying, and he… he wouldn’t let her. The words made no sense, but the resolve behind them was like iron. “Father will just have to wait for you.”_

* * *

She was half-asleep and half-drunk on the lingering scent of him (a heady mix of cedar, soap, and the faintest trace of muted sweat) when he spoke again, much closer than she expected. It sounded as though he was standing right at the edge of the bed, and Chloe almost jolted upwards in surprise. 

“I’m not exactly sure what you’re all doing here, but I…” Lucifer paused and took a short, deep breath. “I imagine it’s something to do with the fact that I wasn’t.”

 _Shit, does he know I’m awake?_ she thought as she forced her body to stay still, fought to keep her breathing even. _I should just roll over and let him know I'm up._

The thought of his stupid, beautiful face rose up in her mind and she gritted her teeth against the wave of anger that roiled through her. 

_Yeah, fuck that. I don’t want to see him right now. Or ever._

“The truth is,” he said, and Chloe felt the mattress dip under his weight as he sat down on the edge, “I went to Las Vegas. And even though it was for a very good reason,” Lucifer continued (Chloe’s eyes rolled beneath her eyelids), “I didn’t tell you because last time I went on a Vegas jaunt, there were some very unpleasant feelings involved. For both of us.”

* * *

_A windy beach in the mid-afternoon, standing too close together: “More importantly, Detective, you deserve someone as good as you, because, well, you’re special.”_

* * *

Almost involuntarily, Chloe opened her eyes slowly, hoping he couldn’t see her face from his seat on the bed. Fuck, but it was hard to keep ahold of her anger when his voice was so damn soft. And he was actually _talking_ to her (well, at her, really) for once. Had he ever been so soft, so vulnerable with her? 

“And, well, I didn’t want to dredge any of those up again. So I bluffed.” He huffed a short, bitter laugh that pierced her right through the heart. If she just barely turned her head she’d be able to see his face, but she was too afraid to move, too afraid to shatter the fragile moment they found themselves in. “But I’ve come to realize that, perhaps, bluffing is the same as lying. And that’s, as you know, something I never want to do.” 

Lucifer's voice broke.

“Especially to you.” 

* * *

_On the dark porch outside a college rager on the hunt for a serial poisoner, her hair was down as she asked him how she looked and there was awe in his voice when he answered her: “Beautiful.”_

* * *

A faint rustle of fabric was the only warning she got before he touched her. Her breath hitched at the contact and she prayed desperately that he didn’t notice. His palm was huge and hot through the thin material of her _(his)_ shirt, and his long fingers dipped over her side to rest softly against her upper ribs. Her heart, caged within, fluttered wildly. 

_Why do I even care? This feeling is stupid,_ Chloe had ranted at Linda earlier, sitting down on the piano bench with enough force to knock the sunglasses on the crown of her head down to her nose. _Full-on rearview. In. The. Past,_ she’d said, punctuating the last three words with hard jabs of her finger against the cool piano. She’d ignored the little voice that asked her why she was lying. 

Lucifer brushed the pad of his thumb along the edge of her shoulder blade, and the movement was so tender Chloe wanted to cry. 

Damn him. Today had been about _her_ , about dealing with old feelings, like Linda said. “No expiration date on the process of healing,” she’d said, and to Chloe it had sounded pretty damn good. The only problem was how on earth Chloe was supposed to heal when there wasn’t even a wound to begin with. How could she get over something that never even happened? 

* * *

_A sterile, white hospital room, Chloe hiding her pain and fear for Trixie’s sake when she asked him if she looked okay and he looked like he wanted to cry: “You… you look heaven-sent.”_

* * *

How could she get any fucking closure for an _almost?_

“Hello?” The moment broke when Lucifer caught sight of the exposed safe, his hand slipping over her back and falling to his side. His voice, which had been so soft and sincere, took on an amused tone. “Someone’s been busy.”

Lucifer’s weight vanished from the mattress and soft steps approached the safe. Chloe wondered vaguely if he’d be upset about the drill-damaged stone. 

_Well,_ she thought to herself as she rolled over, going agonizingly slow before sitting up in bed, _now’s as good a time as any to wake up, I guess._

Chloe straightened her spine and stretched her arms over her head. God, but it felt good. She hadn’t realized how tense she’d gotten when Lucifer walked in. Her eyes traced the line of his body as he stood before the safe, inputting the code. She couldn’t see the keypad, but she could hear the high-pitched beeping as he pushed the buttons. 

She raised one hand to her mouth and faked a yawn. Lucifer turned at the sound. 

“Oh,” he said, flashing her a brief smile. “Perfect timing. You’ve woken up just in time for your surprise.” 

The safe door swung open. From her spot on the bed, it looked empty. 

Lucifer reached into the safe and withdrew a thin rectangular blue box, neatly tied with a darker blue ribbon. Chloe sat up further in the bed and turned to face him fully, adjusting the blankets in her lap as she moved. She had shucked her pants before snuggling into the bed hours earlier, and she wasn’t keen on flashing Lucifer with her bare legs. 

_You sure about that?_ the same little voice from earlier piped up.

“Surprise?” she asked, squashing the annoying voice down. Now was not the time to examine her fragile, tangled feelings. “What surprise?”

“Well, forgive my tardiness,” Lucifer said, crossing the narrow distance between them and sitting back down on the bed, “but I thought it prudent to deliver your gift in private.” 

His grin was bright, but Chloe thought she could see an apologetic tilt to his lips. He handed the box to her, and Chloe took it gently in both hands, and when she raised her face to look at Lucifer she could feel her eyes shining. 

“Thank you.” Her voice was thick with leftover sleep and emotion. 

Lucifer seemed taken aback at her gratitude, eyes widening fractionally above his small and endearingly nervous smile. Chloe smiled back at him, lips pulling up at the corners, before she directed her attention to the box in her hands. The ribbon was smooth and cool to the touch, and it came undone with the lightest touch of her fingertips. 

As Chloe eased the lid off the box, she saw the smile drop from Lucifer’s face out of the corner of her eye, replaced with furrowed brows and a nervous edge to his mouth. 

_He’s worried I won’t like it,_ she realized, and her heart warmed. _He pretends he doesn’t care about anything, but… he cares about_ me, _at least a little bit._

She set the lid to one side and wrapped the delicate chain around her fingers as she lifted the necklace out of the box. 

“It’s beautiful,” she breathed. A small, rounded charm hung from the thin chain, catching the low, warm light of the bedroom. She couldn’t be sure without actually putting it on, but she guessed the charm would rest a few inches below the dip between her collarbones. 

“Oh, it’s-” Lucifer started, only to trail off in a self-conscious laugh that was barely more than air. His lips quirked up in a small grin, and she could swear there was color in his cheeks. 

Chloe bit back a pleased smile of her own - god, but she liked seeing Lucifer being bashful, what a sight - and looked back at the charm. It was somewhat familiar, but she was pretty sure she’d never seen it before. She raised her eyes to his. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s the bullet,” Lucifer said, gesturing to the glittering thing. “From when you shot me, remember? In the warehouse, early in our partnership.”

* * *

_A grungy warehouse, back in the early days: something supernatural in the reflection, the echo of gunfire, Lucifer’s blood, and Chloe’s low, panicked voice (“It means I_ shot _you and I’m an_ idiot _and I’m so_ sorry _-”)._

* * *

“Oh.” Chloe draped the chain over both hands and brought the necklace closer to her face to examine the charm. 

_Lucifer would make the bullet I shot him with into a necklace,_ she thought. It was a little exasperating and entirely in character, but also oddly touching. There was something more at play here, she just knew it, some symbolism to this that she couldn’t grasp. 

Something about this was important to Lucifer, if she could just figure out why. 

“Thanks.” Touched and near tears, the word was thick in her mouth. She beamed at him, keeping her eyes fixed on his dark ones. “I remember.”

“Well,” Lucifer said, sitting back a little in discomfort at her emotions, “I thought since I’ll never likely penetrate you, I’d commemorate the one time you penetrated me.”

The laugh that startled out of her was sudden and too loud, and Chloe brought one hand up to cover her face as she suppressed an inelegant snort. She ducked her head down, hiding the heat she could feel building in her cheeks. 

_Damn it,_ she thought as she dissolved into something too close to the giggles for her own comfort. His deeper laugh joined hers and she looked back up at him, one hand over her laughing mouth. _I wasn’t expecting that._

She still couldn’t shake the feeling that this gift held some deeper symbolism, but she was warm and happy and with Lucifer, so she pushed it aside for another day. 

“So,” he said over the tail-end of her laughter, his eyes unbearably soft, “happy birthday, Detective.”

Chloe quickly clasped the necklace around her neck with skillful fingers. It was cool against her skin, and she was pleased when the charm fell right next to her heart. 

Too choked up for words (god, the alcohol and the ups and downs from earlier had her downright _weepy_ and she was not here for it), she met his dark gaze and reached out her arms. A surprised look passed over his face, but he shifted closer to her and allowed her to wrap her arms around his shoulders. 

Lucifer rested his head against her shoulder as Chloe ran the tips of her fingers down the line of his back. Slowly, hesitatingly, he slipped his arms around her middle, and she relished the heat of him against her. 

Chloe rested her cheek against him and took a deep breath, relaxing into him and calming the tangle of emotions in her gut. There would be time later to examine her feelings, sort them out, deal with them. Heal, if she needed to. But right now, together with Lucifer in this little moment, it could all wait.


End file.
